(no subject)

honestly, what happened to you? there are these slivers of emotion that I see from you every once in awhile and it makes me think that I should still have some hope that you can really truly open up and talk to me. not even anymore because I thought I liked you. But just because I think you might genuinely care sometimes and then when you catch it happening you back away from it.

(no subject)

"Fame, recognition and acknowledgement feel great to the ego and boost your self-esteem but are not the same as love, acceptance, and safety, although we pursue fame as if it will give us these things."

"The pursuit is fundamentally rooted in a deep sense of personal insecurity. And that is fueled by a kind of constant need for applause that can never truly minister to the inner sense of inadequacy."

"We want to believe that if we ourself could just secure enough recognition and approval from the outside world, if we could feel sufficiently admired, we would be healed and our self-esteem secured."

(no subject)

i think the best lesson i can teach myself from all of this is not just when someone shouldn't be in my life anymore, its when they absolutely do not deserve to be anymore.

(no subject)

it will be good to see you again

I can bring a scotch-scented whiff of Celtic sensibility to your otherwise tumultuous life

wear the tartan tie again and bring me some bagpipe music and im done
and scotch
always scotch
scotchy scotch scotch

it's too bad
I can't really drink the cheap scotch anymore
Grant's just tastes like crap
but the good scotch is like $30 for a small bottle

ill contribute to the scotch buying
we should have a night where-
you bring the movies (because clearly my taste sucks)
we split on the scotch
and just get outrageously drunk

sounds pretty good

9:42pm
perfect